Let me begin with this opening statement: sex in itself, of which God had ordained between a husband and a wife is not sinful. The variations of sexual pleasure between a husband and his wife are not sinful either. Hebrews 13:4 in the Word of God states it this way; Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled.
What might seem reasonable or acceptable to some, might not be appropriate or mutually gratifying to another. We are all fearfully and wonderfully made, according to Psalm 139b. Sexual relations in the lives of married couples, and what they enjoy mutually are governed by their mutually established boundaries of consent and practice. God gave us sex to enjoy, as His creation.
Sex has many healing properties, and is very therapeutic for those seeking achievable outcomes, restricted only by the limitations of their own imaginations! Sex isn’t the problem that has the capacity to enslave us. Lust is. In the Song of Solomon we have many references to love, sexual fulfillment and desires. It is beautiful. It is poetic. It is described favorably. It is to be enjoyed and appreciated, as God has ordained it to be.
In Proverbs 5:15-19, Solomon gives excellent instruction. Drink waters out of thy own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well. Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets. Let them be only thine own, and not strangers with thee. Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as a loving hind and pleasant roe: let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished with her love. The boundaries of marriage provide a safeguard and pleasurable resource for unity and making love.
Sex doesn’t have to be that white elephant in the room. Within the framework of a marital relationship: between a husband and wife, both should feel comfortable and safe to discuss it, explore it, experience it and enjoy it; respectfully and responsibly, as God had intended it to be between a husband and wife! Sex through its origin and genealogy has had many applications, interpretations, variations and practices! Ones cultural and religious perspective, or point of view, will determine its practice and sociological context.
My intent through Dr. Loves Perspectives is to be a question and answer platform, where your needs and concerns can be respected and responded to. Personal questions are open for discussion concerning interests and personal practices that you might have! As a Sex Therapist I will endeavor to be a help, to each one that submits what they consider to be valuable and important to them, in relation to sexual information and matters, that they will submit. I use the terminology of they and their, to actually mean you, in this journey of sexuality and pleasure, as we know it today.
In a physical and sexual relationship the only thing that should matter are the boundaries and expectations of each person and consenting individual has, and should be respected, in order for the relationship to develop and thrive.
This is my own personal belief! Others are entitled to have a different point of view, and that is perfectly fine, however, we must remember, it is all according to our own personal beliefs and perspective. Thus has come, Dr. Loves Perspectives!
As comments and inquiries come, I will be making certain recommendations directly. Or to read specific books by various authors, that will provide information and perspectives that will be relevant in each case concerning the nature of each sexual topic and inquiry.
Having sex with a partner before marriage is not considered proper within Christianity, but it happens frequently, and is quite enjoyable when practiced responsibly. Pre-marital and post-marital sex are considered to be a sin! Sex is sex. I am not here to judge, only to facilitate a healthy and therapeutic medium of discussion, and to offer a better understanding for a healthy resolution.
We are sexual beings that have certain needs that we should be able to practice and talk about between ourselves, without hypocrisy or fear of reprisal!
I would encourage you to submit your circumstances of interest to me, and I will respond as soon, and as best as I can. Remember in order to have a successful relationship these following things are key and relevant in order for it to work: Communication; Understanding; Trust and Encouragement(C. U. T. E.) Without being able to effectively communicate, you will never have a proper understanding. Without genuine communication you will create an inferior trust, and without those 3 a person cannot expect to give, or be an encouragement in a sexual or socially acceptable relationship, between consenting and mature adults.
Let me say this: Always remember that regardless, God is good all the time. Why? He has provided the gift of salvation and forgiveness of sin through Jesus Christ, and that He gave us the capacity, through free will, to love and enjoy the best of one another: physically, sexually and intellectually!
If during the course of your interaction with me here, or any personal follow up, if I have been able to help you in your relationship, with information and encouragement or counsel; you can also be a blessing to me by making a voluntary, financial donation, to assist me through Dr. Loves Perspectives to continue what I believe is a valuable resource for today in various sexual matters.
If you would require further one on one, or couple counseling; then we could set something up (upon request). My fee for counseling is $50.00 per session per one person, and $75.00 per couple! My goal is to be a help and encouragement to those that are having difficulties in sexual matters, without judgment or bias.
